Codependency - Understanding It and Finding the Ways to Change

Do You Feel The Chains of Codependency In Your Life?

Codependency is a complex relationship dynamic. It can present itself as one person sacrificing their needs for others. When this happens, it can be the beginning of unhealthy patterns in relationships.

Codependency occurs in many types of relationships.

When we take on the role, as a child, of caring for a parent’s needs, it can carry on into their adult life and relationships.

Once you have taken on the role of a codependency, it is hard to step back and look at the patterns developed.

It doesn’t stop with personal or family relationships, they can also carry over.

You might be “the” parent or member of a team who always organizes everything.

It can be part of your workplace and become a “role” you assume.

Does any of this sound familiar?

• Excessive People-Pleasing: Codependents often focus on others’ needs over their own. They seek validation from external sources. This can lead to neglecting personal needs.
• Fear of Abandonment: Those who are codependent may worry about being left alone. This fear can create anxiety and insecurity in relationships.
• Low Self-Esteem: Many codependents struggle with self-worth. They derive their self-esteem from the approval of others. This dependency can foster feelings of inadequacy.
• Enabling Behaviors: Codependents may enable destructive behaviors in others. This includes substance abuse or unhealthy habits. They may feel responsible for others’ actions.
• Difficulty Setting Boundaries: Individuals with codependency often struggle to say no. They may feel guilty when trying to establish boundaries. This can lead to increased resentment.
• Over-dependence on Relationships: Codependents may fear being alone. They often stay in unhealthy relationships to avoid solitude. This can create a cycle of dependence.

When you step back and think about it, can you relate to some or all of these?

What Can I Do To Break Free From Codependency?

The first step is to recognize the unhealthy patterns. Be honest with yourself about that you are doing and how you react.

Recognize Codependent Behaviors

• Self-Reflection: Assess your relationships. Identify where and when you focus on others’ needs over your own.
• Be Aware of Emotions: Notice YOUR feelings when you are with others. Reflect on when you feel anxious, guilty or responsible for their happiness.

Set Healthy Boundaries

• Define Your Limits: Articulate what you are comfortable with involving time and effort. Think about the emotional investment.
• Practice Saying No: Learn to decline requests if they infringe on your well-being. It’s okay to think about yourself. You don’t need to explain and justify.
• Communicate Boundaries: Let others know your boundaries. Do this in a calm, yet assertive manner.

Focus on Self-Care

• Prioritize Your Needs: Engage in activities to promote your physical, emotional health. Take care of your mental well being.
• Develop Hobbies: Find interests outside of your relationships. This helps build your self independence.
• Practice Mindfulness: Try meditation or mindfulness to reconnect with yourself. Foster self-awareness and emotional regulation.

Enhance Self-Esteem

• Challenge Negative Thoughts: Work on recognizing and reframing negative beliefs.
• Affirmations: Use positive affirmations when you talk to yourself. Repeating affirmations can reinforce a positive self image.

Communicate Openly

• Express Your Needs: Share thoughts and feelings honestly. Make the communications open to sharing and not accusing.
• Use “I” Statements: When addressing issues, use “I” statements to express yourself. Example – “I feel overwhelmed when I take on extra responsibilities.” Don’t add in comments that blame others.

Best Mental Health Treatments for Codependency

It’s not easy to just “stop” a behavior or pattern on your own.

Addressing codependency requires a multi-faceted approach. And it can be best to work with a trained professional in order to find the right solutions and treatments.

Therapy: Professional Counseling – One on One

Therapists can help individuals understand their behaviors. This counseling is for adults, teens and children. The therapist will work with the client in order to determine the best treatment to fit their needs.

• Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) is one treatment modality that is used. It helps modify negative thought patterns.
• Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) is another treatment that teaches emotion regulation and mindfulness. You will learn how to develop interpersonal skills to express yourself to others.

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Family Therapy

Families can benefit from meeting together to discuss and understand way members interact with each other.

• Involving family members can address the systemic issues.
• Family therapy can improve communication and understanding.
• It will also foster healthier dynamics among family members.

Group Therapy

• Skills groups can provide a way to understands your emotions surrounding codependency.
• You will learn how to work with emotion regulation and break the patterns.
• You are in an environment that is safe and secure, as you learn and practice changes.
• You can do this without fear of being judged by others.

Next Steps Toward Less Codependency

Codependency can significantly impact mental health. Recognizing the signs is crucial for understanding.

Effective treatment often involves therapy, support, and personal growth. Establishing healthy boundaries and building self-esteem are vital steps.

Healing takes time and effort. When you have trained professionals supporting you, the journey is less daunting. Remember, with help, recovery and positive change is possible.

With the right support and resources, individuals can break the cycle of codependency. Let’s learn how to foster healthier relationships!

Pathways Counseling Services is the top-rated therapy and counseling service in Scottsdale, Arizona, year after year. We can help you change the impact of codependency in your life. Find a happier and healthier life through effective mental health care.

Remember, there is help and support available to you. We are here for you. You can reach us by phone at 480-235-1682or send us a message.