Create and Maintain Healthy Relationships
Gottman Therapy Method
Relationships are a wonderful bond between two people, yet they can also face challenges, and Gottman Therapy is here to help. There are effective strategies to help couples. They will assist as you overcome difficulties and build stronger relationship
The Gottman Therapy Relationship Counseling, is based on over four decades scientific research by Drs. John and Julie Gottman. It uses a mixture of observational studies, clinical intervention and longitudinal studies. This is combined to provide a proven success helping couples build healthier relationships. Couples see an improvement in communication, understanding, and overall satisfaction in their relationship.
Dr. John Gottman developed a “Love Lab” where he and his colleagues observed couples. The partners were discussing their problems, disagreements and other topics. They recorded the partners’ physiological responses and analyzed their communications and interactions. From these studies, Dr. Gottman was able to make high accuracy predictions. He predicted which partners would stay together or which would separate.
Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse in Gottman Therapy:
Central to the Gottman Method is the concept of the “Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse”. They describe behaviors that predict relationship failure.
Criticism: Criticism is not just airing a complaint or voicing a concern. It’s an attack on a partner’s character or personality. It often includes blaming or shaming the other person.
Contempt: Contempt is an attitude of superiority and disrespect. It can include sarcasm, cynicism, name-calling, eye-rolling, mockery, and hostile humor. Gottman found that it’s the single greatest predictor of divorce.
Defensiveness: When people feel unjustly accused, their natural response is to defend themselves. Defensiveness tends to escalate the conflict instead of solving it. It involves avoiding taking responsibility.
Stonewalling: This happens when one partner withdraws from the interaction. They shut down and closing off from the other due to feeling overwhelmed.
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Key Components of The Gottman Therapy Include:
Understanding Emotions and Friendship:
The foundation of a healthy relationship lies in understanding emotions. And building a strong friendship with your partner. In Gottman Relationshiop Counseling, couples learn the importance of expressing their feelings. The key is to do this in a respectful manner. They discover how to listen actively and show empathy towards each other’s emotions.
Emotional Awareness:
Emotional awareness is about recognizing and understanding. You need to recognize and understand your own feelings as well as those of your partner. When you are aware of your emotions, you can express them clearly to your partner. This leads to better communication and connection.
Building Friendship:
Friendship is crucial in a relationships. Gottman Relationship Counseling emphasizes the importance of spending quality time together. This extends to finding shared interests. Another key component is supporting each other’s dreams and goals. These activities help strengthen the bond between partners. It creates a solid foundation for a long-lasting relationship.
Effective Communication and Conflict Resolution:
Communication plays a vital role in any relationship, and conflicts are inevitable. While the conflicts happen, Gottman Relationship Counseling teaches partners about effective communication. This leads to resolving conflicts in a healthy way.
Active Listening:
Active listening involves giving your full attention to your partner. This means you are listening when they are speaking, without interrupting or judging. Gottman Relationship Counseling teaches partners to practice active listening. When you do, it fosters understanding and mutual respect.
The Magic Ratio:
The “magic ratio” is a concept introduced by Dr. John Gottman. This is based on the concept of negative and positive interaction balance. Partners need to be aware when there is a negative interaction. There should be at least five positive interactions as a counter. This will maintain a healthy balance. When partners are aware of this, they learn to increase positive interactions. When you express appreciation and affection, it creates a more positive atmosphere in the relationship.
Conflict Resolution:
Gottman Therapy Relationship Counseling teaches couples constructive ways to resolve conflicts. An example would be using “I” statements to express feelings without blame or criticism. Another would be to focus on problem-solving rather than winning. Couples can work together to find solutions that satisfy both partners. seeking compromise, and finding common ground.
Strengthening the Relationship:
The next steps occur after partners have improved communication and conflict resolution skills. Gottman Relationship Counseling helps them strengthen the relationship. This is accomplished by focusing on trust, intimacy, and shared meaning.
Building Trust:
Trust is the cornerstone of any successful marriage. Through exercises and open discussions, couples learn to rebuild trust if it has been broken and strengthen it if it is already present. Trust-building activities include being reliable, keeping promises, and maintaining confidentiality.
Intimacy and Emotional Connection:
Intimacy goes beyond physical affection. Gottman Relationship Counseling teaches couples to cultivate emotional connection. This is by sharing dreams, aspirations, and fears with each other. This creates a deeper sense of understanding and closeness in the relationship.
Creating Shared Meaning:
Shared meaning refers to a couple’s sense of purpose and values. Partners in Gottman Relationship Counseling explore both their individual and joint meanings. The look at the values, dreams, and traditions. Partners align their goals and finding meaning together. They can create a sense of purpose that strengthens their bond.
Gottman Relationship Therapy works with partners to improve the quality of the relationship. There are some key strategies utilized in the process to work together. This leads to healthier and more fulfilling relationships.
Gottman Relationship Therapy Process
The goals of the Gottman Method includes increasing closeness and friendship behaviors. Couples learn to address conflict productively and to build a life of shared meaning together.
The Gottman Method involves customizing principles from the research to each couple’s unique patterns and challenges.
Couples will meet with the therapist to identify the key areas to work on in the relationship. This will allow the therapist and the partners to define and refine their treatment goals.
Homework is often given to partners to practice and apply what they’ve learned. Partners may complete exercises outside of counseling. The goal is to improve conflict management, deepen friendship and intimacy and create shared meaning.
If you are ready to find some tools, insights and improve your relationship, we are here for you. The therapists at Pathways Counseling Services are available and ready. We offer evening and Saturday appointments to work in your busy schedule.
Our Gottman Therapy Method Counselors
Frequently Asked Questions:
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Yes, we offer a free 15-minute telephone consultation. Please call us at 480-613-8530 to schedule a consultation or complete this contact form.
Our practice is a “Fee-For-Service” practice which means we DO NOT accept insurance. If you have an insurance provider with behavioral health coverage, they may offer “out-of-network” coverage. If you would like to use your “out-of-network” benefits, we will provide you with a superbill (receipt) monthly that you can submit to your insurance company for “out-of-network” reimbursement.
Prior to your first session, you will fill out some general information. We will you a link to complete the form(s) prior to your first session.
During the initial appointment, we will review some of your histories and we will have an opportunity to discuss the reasons you are interested in counseling and the goals you are looking to achieve from counseling.
Together during the first few sessions we will put together a treatment plan with you.
Most patients come in for weekly appointments. As you are feeling better, you can cut back on the frequency of the sessions so you have more time to practice what you are learning.
Initial sessions are 75 minutes ongoing sessions may be 45-75 minutes or longer depending on need.
Patients who work with us report improvements in a few sessions. More difficult issues may take longer. People come to therapy for different reasons but universally people don’t initiate counseling unless they are in some type of emotional pain. Our attitude is to try to make every session count.
We welcome couples, children, adolescents, teens, and individuals of diverse backgrounds, cultures, religious traditions, and lifestyles.
We will be able to work with you using a variety of tools and techniques and specialize in a variety of issues and concerns.
All client-therapist conversations are private and confidential. In those rare exceptions when the safety of a client or other is at risk disclosure of confidential client-therapist information takes place.
