Strong relationships still have hard conversations. Gottman couples therapy gives you and your partner practical tools to talk through conflict, rebuild trust, and feel closer, in 75-minute visits. Meet at our Scottsdale office or ask about secure video with select therapists in Arizona, New York, or Hawaii.
Disagreements are a normal part of any relationship. The Gottman Method looks closely at how couples talk through these disagreements and reconnect afterward. Some couples come to us during a hard stretch, and others come to keep a good relationship strong.
Gottman couples therapy at Pathways Counseling Services gives you and your partner practical tools to talk, listen, and come back together after hard moments. You can read more about how we work with couples on our couples therapy page.
Start with a free 15-minute phone call. Only one of you needs to be on it, and we’ll help you choose a therapist who may fit both your needs.
Book a Free 15-Minute Phone Consultation
Or call (480) 639-5559, or text 480-794-0890
We’ve helped Scottsdale couples since 2012. You can meet at our office on East Shea Boulevard. Select therapists also offer secure video visits for couples in Arizona, New York, or Hawaii.
Psychologists John and Julie Gottman developed the method from decades of research on how couples talk, argue, and make up. The Gottman Institute still trains therapists in it today.
Most of the work falls into three areas. Few couples need equal time on all three, so your therapist will focus on what the two of you want help with.
Couples come to Gottman therapy at every stage of a relationship. You may relate to one of these situations or want help with something else.
You may notice that small topics turn into big arguments. One of you raises a concern, and the other feels blamed or goes quiet.
Your therapist points these patterns out as they happen in the room. From there, you practice bringing up a concern more gently and taking a break when a talk gets too heated.
Some couples get along fine but rarely talk about anything beyond work, kids, or chores. You may miss the friendship you had early on.
Gottman work often starts here. You practice small habits, like asking about each other’s day. You will also learn to notice when your partner reaches out (the Gottmans call these bids for connection).
An affair or another breach of trust can leave both partners hurt and unsure of what comes next. You don’t have to decide whether to stay together before you reach out.
The Gottman Institute describes affair recovery in three stages, called atone, attune, and attach. With your therapist’s help, you can talk through what happened and decide together how to move forward. Each couple’s pace is different.
Engaged couples often come in when things are going well. It’s a good time to talk about money, family, work, and how each of you handles disagreements.
Gottman tools can help you build healthy habits early, before small differences become ongoing conflict.
Your first visit is a chance for your therapist to get to know you both. Each of you can share what brought you in, how you see the relationship, and what you’d like to change. Like every couples visit, it lasts 75 minutes.
Your therapist may also meet with each of you alone early on. Before that happens, they will explain their rules about privacy and what may be shared with your partner.
Later visits mix talking with practice. You might work through a recent disagreement in the room while your therapist helps you slow down and listen. Between visits, you may try something small at home and talk about how it went at the next visit. Tools you may practice include these:
It’s common for one partner to feel more ready than the other. Your partner may worry about being blamed, or may not know what therapy involves.
Sharing this page with them is one place to start. Another is to book the free call on your own. We’ll talk through next steps, which may include individual support for you while your partner decides.
At Pathways Counseling Services, you choose your therapist. Visit our team page to see who offers Gottman therapy and learn about their training.
Gottman training happens in levels through the Gottman Institute, and some therapists go on to certification. You’re welcome to ask about your therapist’s training on the free call.
Both of you should feel comfortable with your therapist. If one of you doesn’t, let us know and we can help you look at other options.
For video visits, each of you needs to be in a state where your therapist can provide care. Tell us where you’ll both be, and we’ll check your options.
If you’re afraid of your partner’s reaction, speak with us in private before booking a joint visit. When there is abuse, threats, or control, meeting together may not be safe. We can discuss support for your own needs and safety.
You can also contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233. If you’re in danger right now, call 911.
Every couples visit is 75 minutes, including the first. Each visit costs $285 to $490, based on your therapist.
Our office is open Monday to Friday, 9 AM to 7 PM, and Saturday, 9 AM to 4 PM. Ask us about your therapist’s hours.
You’ll find us at 8414 E. Shea Blvd., Suite 101, Scottsdale, AZ 85260. Select therapists also offer secure video visits for couples in Arizona, New York, or Hawaii.
To book, schedule a free 15-minute phone consultation, call (480) 639-5559, or text 480-794-0890.
The Gottmans use this name for four patterns that can make conflict harder. They are criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling. Noticing them doesn’t mean your relationship will end. Your therapist can help you notice these patterns and practice more respectful ways to handle conflict.
Not at all. Some couples come in during a hard season, and others come to keep a good relationship strong. Engaged couples use it too.
Both help couples understand each other, and your therapist may draw on one or both. Gottman work often includes structured skills to practice between visits. PACT focuses more on how you respond to each other in the moment, through tone and body language.
Most visits include both partners. Short one-on-one meetings can happen too, and your therapist will explain how privacy works before they do.
Some couples come for a few months to work on one issue. Recovery after an affair often takes longer. Your therapist will review progress with you both and talk about how often to meet.
Secure video visits may be available with select therapists in Arizona, New York, and Hawaii. Tell us where each of you will be during the visit so we can check your options.
Your therapist will explain what stays private and when safety concerns or the law may require them to share information. You can ask questions about these rules at any time.
A 75-minute visit starts at $285. The fee depends on your therapist, and we’ll confirm the cost before you book.
We do not accept insurance. You pay us directly for your care. We can give you a special receipt called a superbill. You can send it to your insurance plan to ask if it will pay back part of the cost. Check with your plan first. Not all plans cover couples therapy.
Book a Free 15-Minute Phone Consultation
Or call (480) 639-5559, or text 480-794-0890
We offer scheduled therapy visits. We do not provide emergency care. If you’re thinking about suicide, call or text 988. If you’re in danger, call 911.
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