Top Five Signs Your Child's Anger is Excessive

Is My Child’s Anger “Normal”?

As a parent, you may wonder if your child’s anger is “normal” or if you are dealing with excessive anger issues.

Young children have not learned how to use communication tools.

A child doesn’t know how to let parents and other adults (teachers, care givers, etc.) know what exactly they are feeling. Instead, the child may start screaming and cursing, or throw objects. They can begin hitting or biting another child or adult nearby.

These behaviors can be signs of a distressed child. They don’t have the skill to manage their feelings and express them any other way. They can be lacking language or impulse control, or problem-solving abilities.

Do You See These Signs in Your Child?

• Frequent outbursts or temper tantrums. Does your child start yelling, name-calling, or using hurtful language?
• Acting out with physical responses: Does your child’s anger show with hitting, kicking, or other forms of physical aggression. Damaging property or breaking things in anger.
• Defiant and combative attitude: Does your child get into a defensive attitude or refuse to follow the rules? Do they withdrawal or isolatie after angry episodes?
• Slow to return to calm behavior: Does it seem to take a long time for your child to stop acting angry after an outburst of anger?
• Being the center of negative attention: Do you hear from the school that your child is usually the center of negative, angry behavior? Do your other children or family members see the same actions?

Do you find yourself dealing with a volatile response from your child, such as these?

What Can Parents Do When They See These Child Anger Signs?

• Stay calm and model appropriate behavior. Do not react to their anger with an angry response.
• Talk with and encourage your child to express feelings with words, not with actions. Listen without judgement to understand the root cause of your child’s anger. Help your child identify triggers: work together to figure out what causes the anger.
• Set clear, consistent boundaries for acceptable behaviors. Acknowledge their feelings, but also make it clear some behaviors are not okay.
• Teach coping skills, such as deep breathing or counting to calm down.
• Check in with your child again later. Once your child has calmed down, see if you can talk with them through what is going on.

Some Key Points for Parents To Remember

• Praise your child when they are able to express themselves calmly.
• Acknowledge your child when they are able to calm themselves down. Reinforce the use of learned coping skills.
• Don’t give in to their demands. Even if it seems easier in the moment, it can become a pattern your child follows to get their way.
• If your school is contacting you because of your child’s anger, reach out. Find out what reactions your child is presenting. See if the teacher or school counselor can identify was is causing the triggers. Speak with your child in a calm setting to find out what has made your child angry.

Will Counseling Help My Child’s Anger?

It can be very difficult to stay in an objective frame of mind when your child’s anger becomes overwhelming.

A positive action is to find a good therapist who works with children and their anger issues.

A trained counselor will find the right treatments to use that will benefit your child. Two of the best ones are:

Cognitive Behavior Therapy (CBT)

One of the best counseling treatments for children is Cognitive Behavior Therapy (CBT). It benefits your child by:

1. Identifying triggers for their anger

2. Helping your child understand the connection between thoughts, feelings and behavior.

3. Learning healthier ways to express emotions and manage frustrations.

4. Develop problem-solving and communication skills.

Play Therapy

If your child has a hard time explaining what makes them angry, other tools are available. For many children, an effective way is using Play Therapy. This can allow your child to show what is a trigger for them.

1. Play can be an effective way to understand a child’s emotions. Children often express feelings through play. Your child may act out scenarios that reflect their experiences. This can reveal the underlying triggers of anger.

2. Counselors observe interactions during play. They can identify patterns or recurring themes. For instance, a child may reenact conflicts. This can highlight the fear or frustration they face.

3. Art materials also aid expression. Drawings can show hidden feelings. A counselor might ask about the artwork. This discussion can uncover specific triggers.

Play Therapy creates a safe space. Your child can feel more relaxed to express themselves. This openness helps in recognizing anger’s root causes. Overall, it promotes emotional awareness and coping strategies.

Through a trained counselor, you may find your child has anxiety, and that brings out the anger response. There can also be signs of ADHD or possibly an undiagnosed learning disability.

Working with your child’s counselor can help you identify other issues. An example would be such as sensory processing. Your child might react to loud noises or bright lights. A child who struggles with sensory processing might have trouble adapting to change. Understanding what triggers your child helps in addressing both anger and sensory needs.

Parent Involvement is Crucial. Parents Should:

1. Participate in therapy sessions when appropriate.

2. Learn the same strategies the child is taught to reinforce them at home.

3. Provide consistent support and encouragement

4. Set clear, calm boundaries and expectations for behavior.

5. Model positive ways of managing anger themselves.

The anger issues for a child can impact the whole family. Parents should consider family therapy to improve communication and strengthen relationships.

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What Should I Do Now – Child’s Anger Counseling

If you feel your child would benefit from counseling, we encourage you to take the next steps.

Pathways Counseling Services offers trained counselors who will work with you and your child to create the right counselor environment. We offer after school and Saturday appointments to work in your busy schedule.

You can call, book online or send an email to start the process. We offer a free 15 minute consultation call to help determine the right path for you and your family.

Our goal is the bright and happy smile of your child!

Pathways Counseling Services is the top-rated therapy and counseling service in Scottsdale, Arizona, year after year. We can help you change the impact of codependency in your life. Find a happier and healthier life through effective mental health care.

Remember, there is help and support available to you. We are here for you. You can reach us by phone at 480-235-1682or send us a message.